so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
