Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
