the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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