Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
ttyl tear gas
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
