Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
