they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
