And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
