There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.