You made me cry and you don't even care
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.