yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize