just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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