i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I touched a dick in church today
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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