There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
