im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
