i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
