your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
