Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
