pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
