We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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