Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
