The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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