you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
