Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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