Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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