Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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