No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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