Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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