sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just googled if crying burns calories
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
