I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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