i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
