you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
