Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
