Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
