Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
