either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize