But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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