I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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