1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
