So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
