You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
