Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
