I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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