I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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