you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
