i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
