DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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