I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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