then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize