I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?