I wannas sexs uuuuu
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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