you guys were way drunker than both of me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
