Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
