I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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