No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
