It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
