he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
