we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
