How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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