What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
