I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
