The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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