I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
