dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
