guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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