i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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