i will never coherently bang her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
