Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I intend to get homeless drunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
