It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize