you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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