at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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