we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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